Written Friday 13 June
So...small change of plan...turns out flights back from Canada are rather on the pricey side, so decided it would be best for now to catch my original flight home (plus I was running out of lenses and prescription stuff which would have been hard to work around). Not sure how I'm feeling about going back if I'm honest - obviously it'll be great seeing friends and fam, but I feel like I'm going to be bored living back in Penn in about a week, if that. Just one thing for it - better get planning my next trip asap!
So, the big question really - did I find my muchness? After a mere two and a half months of travel I'm not sure I can profess to have 'found myself' just yet. However, I have learnt some things about myself that have put me on the right tracks :)
- I'm more of a social butterfly than I thought - you kind of have to be when travelling solo. I'm happy to spend some time alone but I need people around me as well (plus it helps to have support if anything goes wrong). All qualms about striking up conversations with random people have been extinguished, and I've made some good friends through letting go of these inhibitions. The people I've met throughout my travels have been so, so nice that it's been impossible not to feel welcome - big up NY Budget Inn for making me feel like I belonged in the city I settled for the longest ("People like you are always welcome here" / "See you when you come back"). My second home!
- Meeting so many new people also helps you to see yourself from different perspectives. I've been called a morning person (say whaaa?) and told that I'm full of surprises (for some reason people seem to like that I'm a writer and speak a bit of Spanish) amongst other things - not only nice/interesting to hear but also teaches you more about yourself and helps you to see yourself in a better light.
- Two contrasting points up next. Firstly: confidence is way back up there as far as guys are concerned. Travelling is a huge ego boost in this sense - the perfect post break-up remedy! Especially if you (coincidentally) choose places where blonde hair and British accents can get you far - South America and NYC, ladies!
- While it's good to know what's out there and learn more about what I truly value in a man, I'm genuinely happy being single at the moment. Sure, guys add a little fun and drama into the mix but I'm enjoying being independent, doing what I want and focusing on myself for now!
- Despite having been labelled an 'undercover princess' in the past few weeks, I've learnt that I'm capable of more than I gave myself credit for. I've paddled with sharks, ridden an unruly horse through a swamp, hiked some really challenging trails, endured blisteringly hot and freezing cold temperatures, survived stays in VERY basic accommodation, and much more. I think that travelling solo played a big part in this - ironically when I'm with someone I know I tend to be more on my guard and in less of a position to try new things than when I'm winging it on my own. So glad that I flew out on my own (and single!) - it definitely helped me to branch out, meet new people and push myself to the limit.
- This trip has confirmed what I pretty much already knew regarding career opportunities - wildlife, photography, travel and writing are my main areas of interest. Part of the reason I'm travelling is to find some sort of direction because I'm not sure that what I was doing before was enough. Not done figuring this out yet - planning on working/volunteering in the Asia/Oz stretch to get some experience in different fields in very different countries before settling into anything permanent. Not even sure whether I want to settle in the UK - waking up to blue skies and friendly people every day has made me seriously consider the possibility of living abroad, particularly NYC or Brazil...
- Finally (either this really is the last point or I'm totally fried from being awake for 32 hours), I know that wherever I go in the world my love of wine, tea, going out and being warm (bed socks!) will stand strong. There are some home comforts and parts of who you are that crossing borders cannot conquer, and that's okay. It doesn't matter that my mum thinks I'm a borderline alcoholic (I'm not), or that my Bolivia/Brazil tour group witnessed me hoarding teabags, downing 3 mugs in a row after a long stint (2 days) without and most probably think that I need to find some sort of tea rehab facility, or that I sat around the campfire most nights in a fleece/anorak combo complete with hat and scarf surrounded by people in t-shirts. Home is where the heart is - someone put the kettle on!
To be continued...
